The Illustrated Works of Shakespeare/Illustrated Works of Shakespeare, The (1990)(Animated Pixels)[!][CDTV-PC].iso/shakes/text/12/03_02

Text File | 1991-04-10 | 12KB | 355 lines

Padua. Before Baptista's House.
 Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, TRANIO as Lucentio, KATHERINA, BIANCA,
 LUCENTIO as Cambio, and SERVANTS.

Baptista    [To TRANIO.] Signor Lucentio, this is the 'pointed day
    That Katherine and Petruchio should be married,
    And yet we hear not of our son-in-law.
    What will be said? What mockery will it be
    To want the bridegroom when the priest attends
    To speak the ceremonial rites of marriage!
    What says Lucentio to this shame of ours?

Katherina    No shame but mine. I must, forsooth, be forced
    To give my hand, opposed against my heart,
    Unto a madbrain rudesby, full of spleen,
    Who wooed in haste and means to wed at leisure.
    I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
    Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behaviour;
    And to be noted for a merry man
    He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
    Make friends, invite, and proclaim the banns,
    Yet never means to wed where he hath wooed.
    Now must the world point at poor Katherine
    And say 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
    If it would please him come and marry her'.

Tranio    Patience, good Katherine, and Baptista too.
    Upon my life, Petruchio means but well,
    Whatever fortune stays him from his word.
    Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise;
    Though he be merry, yet withal he's honest.

Katherina    Would Katherine had never seen him though!
                                                        [Exit weeping,
                                        followed by BIANCA and OTHERS.

Baptista    Go, girl; I cannot blame thee now to weep,
    For such an injury would vex a saint,
    Much more a shrew of thy impatient humour.

                             Enter BIONDELLO.

Biondello    Master, master, news! And such old news as you never heard
    of!

Baptista    Is it new and old too? How may that be?

Biondello    Why, is it not news to hear of Petruchio's coming?

Baptista    Is he come?

Biondello    Why, no, sir.

Baptista    What then?

Biondello    He is coming.

Baptista    When will he be here?

Biondello    When he stands where I am and sees you there.

Tranio    But say, what to thine old news?

Biondello    Why, Petruchio is coming in a new hat and an old jerkin; a
    pair of old breeches thrice turned; a pair of boots that
    have been candle-cases, one buckled, another laced; an old
    rusty sword ta'en out of the town armoury, with a broken
    hilt, and chapeless; with two broken points; his horse
    hipped with an old mothy saddle and stirrups of no kindred,
    besides, possessed with the glanders and like to mose in the
    chine, troubled with the lampas, infected with the fashions,
    full of windgalls, sped with spavins, rayed with the
    yellows, past cure of the fives, stark spoiled with the
    staggers, begnawn with the bots, swayed in the back and
    shoulder-shotten, near-legged before, and with a half-
    cheeked bit and a headstall of sheep's leather, which, being
    restrained to keep him from stumbling, hath been often burst
    and now repaired with knots; one girth six times pieced, and
    a woman's crupper of velure, which hath two letters for her
    name fairly set down in studs, and here and there pieced
    with packthread.

Baptista    Who comes with him?

Biondello    O sir, his lackey, for all the world caparisoned like the
    horse: with a linen stock on one leg and a kersey boot-hose
    on the other, gartered with a red and blue list; an old hat,
    and the humour of forty fancies pricked in't for a feather;
    a monster, a very monster in apparel, and not like a
    Christian footboy or a gentleman's lackey.

Tranio    'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion.
    Yet often times he goes but mean-apparelled.

Baptista    I am glad he's come, howsoe'er he comes.

Biondello    Why, sir, he comes not.

Baptista    Didst thou not say he comes?

Biondello    Who? That Petruchio came?

Baptista    Ay, that Petruchio came.

Biondello    No, sir; I say his horse comes, with him on his back.

Baptista    Why, that's all one.

Biondello                Nay, by Saint Jamy,
                I hold you a penny,
                A horse and a man
                Is more than one,
                And yet not many.

                       Enter PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.

Petruchio    Come, where be these gallants? Who's at home?

Baptista    You are welcome, sir.

Petruchio                        And yet I come not well.

Baptista    And yet you halt not.

Tranio                            Not so well apparelled
    As I wish you were.

Petruchio    Were it not better I should rush in thus?
    But where is Kate? Where is my lovely bride?
    How does my father? Gentles, methinks you frown;
    And wherefore gaze this goodly company
    As if they saw some wondrous monument,
    Some comet, or unusual prodigy?

Baptista    Why, sir, you know this is your wedding-day.
    First were we sad, fearing you would not come,
    Now sadder that you come so unprovided.
    Fie! Doff this habit, shame to your estate,
    An eyesore to our solemn festival!

Tranio    And tell us what occasion of import
    Hath all so long detained you from your wife,
    And sent you hither so unlike yourself.

Petruchio    Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear;
    Sufficeth I am come to keep my word,
    Though in some part enforcd to digress,
    Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse
    As you shall well be satisfied withal.
    But where is Kate? I stay too long from her.
    The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church.

Tranio    See not your bride in these unreverent robes.
    Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine.

Petruchio    Not I, believe me; thus I'll visit her.

Baptista    But thus, I trust, you will not marry her.

Petruchio    Good sooth, even thus; therefore ha' done with words.
    To me she's married, not unto my clothes.
    Could I repair what she will wear in me
    As I can change these poor accoutrements,
    'Twere well for Kate and better for myself.
    But what a fool am I to chat with you
    When I should bid good morrow to my bride,
    And seal the title with a lovely kiss.
                                         [Exeunt PETRUCHIO and GRUMIO.

Tranio    He hath some meaning in his mad attire.
    We will persuade him, be it possible,
    To put on better ere he go to church.

Baptista    I'll after him, and see the event of this.
                                                    [Exeunt BAPTISTA, GREMIO,
                                                BIONDELLO, and ATTENDANTS.

Tranio    But to her love concerneth us to add
    Her father's liking, which to bring to pass,
    As I before imparted to your worship,
    I am to get a man - whate'er he be
    It skills not much, we'll fit him to our turn-
    And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa,
    And make assurance, here in Padua,
    Of greater sums than I have promisd.
    So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
    And marry sweet Bianca with consent.

Lucentio    Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster
    Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly,
    'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage,
    Which once performed, let all the world say no,
    I'll keep mine own despite of all the world.

Tranio    That by degrees we mean to look into,
    And watch our vantage in this business.
    We'll overreach the greybeard, Gremio,
    The narrow-prying father, Minola,
    The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
    All for my master's sake, Lucentio.

                             Re-enter GREMIO.

    Signor Gremio, came you from the church?

Gremio    As willingly as e'er I came from school.

Tranio    And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?

Gremio    A bridegroom, say you? 'Tis a groom indeed,
    A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.

Tranio    Curster than she? Why, 'tis impossible.

Gremio    Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.

Tranio    Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.

Gremio    Tut! She's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him.
    I'll tell you, Sir Lucentio, when the priest
    Should ask if Katherine should be his wife,
    'Ay, by gogs-wouns,' quoth he, and swore so loud
    That, all amazed, the priest let fall the book;
    And as he stooped again to take it up,
    The madbrained bridegroom took him such a cuff
    That down fell priest and book, and book and priest.
    'Now take them up,' quoth he 'if any list.'

Tranio    What said the wench when he rose up again?

Gremio    Trembled and shook; forwhy he stamped and swore
    As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
    But after many ceremonies done,
    He calls for wine. 'A health!' quoth he, as if
    He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
    After a storm; quaffed off the muscadel,
    And threw the sops all in the sexton's face,
    Having no other reason
    But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,
    And seemed to ask him sops as he was drinking.
    This done, he took the bride about the neck,
    And kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack
    That at the parting all the church did echo;
    And I, seeing this, came thence for very shame,
    And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
    Such a mad marriage never was before.
    Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play.
                                                        [Music plays.

         Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, BIANCA, BAPTISTA, HORTENSIO,
                            GRUMIO and OTHERS.

Petruchio    Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains.
    I know you think to dine with me today,
    And have prepared great store of wedding cheer,
    But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
    And therefore here I mean to take my leave.

Baptista    Is't possible you will away tonight?

Petruchio    I must away today, before night come.
    Make it no wonder - if you knew my business
    You would entreat me rather go than stay.
    And, honest company, I thank you all
    That have beheld me give away myself
    To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife.
    Dine with my father, drink a health to me,
    For I must hence; and farewell to you all.

Tranio    Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.

Petruchio    It may not be.

Gremio                    Let me entreat you.

Petruchio    It cannot be.

Katherina                    Let me entreat you.

Petruchio    I am content.

Katherina                    Are you content to stay?

Petruchio    I am content you shall entreat me stay;
    But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

Katherina    Now if you love me, stay.

Petruchio                                Grumio, my horse!

Grumio    Ay, sir, they be ready; the oats have eaten the horses.

Katherina    Nay then,
    Do what thou canst, I will not go today;
    No, nor tomorrow: - not till I please myself.
    The door is open, sir, there lies your way;
    You may be jogging whiles your boots are green;
    For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself.
    'Tis like you'll prove a jolly surly groom,
    That take it on you at the first so roundly.

Petruchio    O Kate, content thee; prithee be not angry.

Katherina    I will be angry. What hast thou to do?
    Father, be quiet; he shall stay my leisure.

Gremio    Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work.

Katherina    Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.
    I see a woman may be made a fool
    If she had not a spirit to resist.

Petruchio    They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
    Obey the bride, you that attend on her;
    Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
    Carouse full measure to her maidenhead,
    Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves;
    But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
    Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret;
    I will be master of what is mine own.
    She is my goods, my chattels; she is my house,
    My household stuff, my field, my barn,
    My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything;
    And here she stands; touch her, whoever dare!
    I'll bring mine action on the proudest he
    That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
    Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves.
    Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
    Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate;
    I'll buckler thee against a million.
                        [Exeunt PETRUCHIO, KATHERINA, and GRUMIO.

Baptista    Nay, let them go. A couple of quiet ones!

Gremio    Went they not quickly I should die with laughing.

Tranio    Of all mad matches never was the like.

Lucentio    Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?

Bianca    That being mad herself, she's madly mated.

Gremio    I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated.

Baptista    Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants
    For to supply the places at the table,
    You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
    Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place,
    And let Bianca take her sister's room.

Tranio    Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?

Baptista    She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.
                                                        [Exeunt.